A Chambersburg Fairy Tale
by spiffytgm
Summary: Mary Alice gets more than she bargained for when she asks grandma for a bedtime story. Implied BABE HEA. Challenge from Margaret :-)


**In a different one shot I wrote, I said that Stephanie and her mother hadn't spoken since she broke up with Morelli. Today Margaret asked me to give the back story on that, told from Helen's POV not talking to Steph, and to keep it amusing. It was a LOT harder than I thought it would be. I hope I covered all the bases. Enjoy!**

**As always, all characters you know and love belong to JE, and all mistakes are mine.**

I was watching the girls for my daughter Valerie and her husband Albert. Angie, Lisa, and the baby all went to sleep with no problems. Mary Alice is almost as stubborn as my daughter, Stephanie Plum. She asked me to tell her a story to help her get sleepy.

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who lived in the kingdom of New Jersey. She had many friends but she was lonely. A princess can only be happy if she finds her own Prince Charming.."

Mary Alice interrupted me. "Grandma, why does the princess live in New Jersey?"

"Because New Jersey is the most magical kingdom of all. Why, if you could drink the tap water, it would be perfect. But let's get back to the story."

Mary Alice wasn't done. "But why does the princess have to find Prince Charming to be happy?"

"Because Prince Charming will take care of her. He will give her a castle of her own and let her stay home to raise her children."

"Grandma, why does she have to stay in the castle and raise the children?"

"Because that's what good little princesses do. But anyway, this princess didn't realize that she had already found her Prince Charming. He called her his cupcake and asked her to marry him."

"But, Grandma, wouldn't she know her Prince Charming when she met him?"

"What this princess didn't realize was that an evil wizard put a spell on her so that she wouldn't recognize the prince. The spell was so good that she told the prince she would never marry him, and hasn't seen him for a month! Doesn't she realize that he has needs? But no, the wizard dazzled her with his shiny black horses, which she managed to blow up..."

Mary Alice screamed. "She blew up his horses?"

"Sorry, dear, she did not blow up his horses, she blew up the carriages. The horses are alive and happy." Oops, I forgot about Mary Alice thinking she was a horse. "Anyway, the wizard said to the princess, 'Hey, Babe. Stay with me and my thugs and I'll keep you in cars and jobs until I get bored with you or you get old, whichever comes first.' But the wizard was handsome and she didn't see the spell he put on her.

"Now, the Queen tried to help the princess, but the wizard thwarted her at every turn. The Queen was irritated because she knew what the princess needed, but the princess wouldn't listen to her. When the Queen threatened to cut off her supply of Pineapple Upside down cake, the wizard told her that his housekeeper would always make it for her. When the Queen pointed out that other princesses listened to their mothers, the wizard told her that he only wanted her to fly. Every time the Queen tried to call the princess, she had to listen to that horrible song Go Away by Gloria Estefan until it went straight to voicemail. When the Queen tried to call her at the wizard's office building,"

A new voice spoke from behind me. "The princess told her to knock it off or she would get a restraining order. In fact, the princess is so tired of the Queen's nonsense, that she's leaving now and never coming back. None of the Merry Men will answer the phones anymore without getting hazard pay." Stephanie brushed by me and kissed Mary Alice on the forehead. "What the Queen didn't realize was that the princess didn't want to be a princess, she wanted to be Wonder Woman. The wizard saw that in her, and helped her fly because that's what she wanted. That's why she loves the wizard. If a princess wants to be a horse, then she should find the prince, or the wizard, that wants that for her, too. The princess and the wizard lived happily ever after while the Queen kept saying, 'WHY ME?" Good Night, MA."

Mary Alice giggled and said, "Good Night, Princess Stephanie. I would have picked the wizard, too."

I can't wait for Val and Albert to come pick up the girls. I need a drink.


End file.
